Lost, Season 4, Episode 1, "The Beginning of the End"

I was ready to like it.

I was really, really all set to love it.

Before tuning into Wednesday night’s much anticipated season premiere of Lost, I had watched the DVD of Season 3 the week before, viewed the online trailer (twice!) and carefully read every breathless magazine article. I had given myself over, happily succumbed to the pre-episode hype. The one thing I couldn’t bring myself to do was watch the hour-long recap, but beyond that I was sold.

It started off well. Hurley episode, sweet! And flash forwards, by their very nature, are infinitely more intriguing than flashbacks. For one, flashbacks have been done to death in nearly every medium. Flash forwards, not so much. They also offer the promise of big-time reveals and even further mysteries (the coffin, anyone?). The flashbacks were getting pretty stale anyway. Previous episodes felt like they were only doing flashbacks because, well, that’s the formula. I mean, at least half of the Sun/Jin flashbacks are worthless and certainly all of Kate’s are. [ZOMG BUT WHAT ABOUT MALCOM REYNOLDS AS HER HUBBY?? Just kidding -the editors]

But perhaps last night’s flash forwards were the problem. Must be hard to do a flash forward without giving too much away. At the same time, they gotta give us something. Hurley’s flash forwards accomplished little besides reinforcing the notion that the Losties don’t do very well in life when not lost. He gives the same we-never-should-have-left-the-island speech that we already heard from Jack, talks to Charlie’s ghost (really?), and...that’s about it.

The real problem, however, was the ending. Lost has basically two types of endings: the crazy, WTF cliffhanger and the mawkish, faux-emotional music montage. Sometimes they also fake us out with a music montage followed by a crazy, WTF cliffhanger. I like those the best for the way they play with my emotions. I think I’m getting a crappy ending, only to have it saved at the last moment by another head-slapping mystery. But tonight’s ending was neither. Just a weird guy with a beard parachuting out of a helicopter. Yawn. [Yeah, how was that supposed to be revelatory? Because he recognized Jack? Hello, he was just talking to him on the sat phone. The only thing interesting is that the Other Others seem to have a ready supply of disposable helicopters. -eds.]

I like the idea of a shadowy group of nefarious individuals coming to the island to kill everybody. The writers probably feel like they need some new antagonists after completely neutering the Others last season. (Remember when the Others were scary? That was awesome.) But let’s get on with it already! The ending had no hook, nothing to make you say, “Oh my god, what’s going to happen next?” The ending – I don’t know – just kind of stopped. Very un-Lost-like.

A few other things about the episode gave me pause. Wasn’t John shot in the chest? Does he have Wolverine healing powers now? Naomi’s alive again. Oh, wait, nope, she’s dead again. The Losties are splitting up into factions? Yeah, cause that worked so well the other three times it’s happened. Here’s hoping next week’s episode has me saying WTF. Heck, I’ll even take a music montage.

[Here’s my new theory: The island is actually built of plot holes, and Jacob is really Robert McKee, the author of “Story,” which is why he pleaded “help me” to Locke. Why is Robert McKee there? It’s a plot hole! But also, irony. -eds.]